Finding Support

I had become a member with Baby Center several years back, but never thought about joining a support team through their site. I would typically just browse thru interesting threads, but never commented. I thought how on earth would I connect with people who don’t even know me & how do I trust random strangers from the internet. I think we would all feel that way right? Well little did I know reaching out to them would be the Best Thing I could have ever done. I have connected with so many amazing women from all over the world. They are the ones who have inspired me to start this blog. We all come from different backgrounds & all of our infertility stories are different, but some how we have connected on a larger level and have become so close, like sisters. We understand each other & support each other in ways nobody else would understand.

So many women who struggle with infertility don’t talk about it. They get embarrassed or feel ashamed. I know because I was one of them at one point. I felt like how could this be happening to me? Why is my body failing me when this is something women are naturally supposed to do? I played the blame game. Blaming myself for all the things I’ve done in my past,  or that this is happening because I’m too old & I waited too long to have kids (I was in my early 30’s), or maybe it’s because I used to work at a tanning salon & I would tan all the time. I thought maybe I fried all my eggs, no pun intended. Excuse after excuse. I would find any reason on how it was MY fault. Well guess what I threw those excuses away & decided to find the solution. How could we fix this & move on?

I started opening up about it more & more and found it very uplifting. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I started to connect with more & more people. I had no idea so many women were going thru the same thing. We all just wanted answers. I started discussing it with co-workers which was very uncomfortable to do, but I just knew I needed to get it out there for what I was going thru. When I had friends from work around me getting pregnant I remember a specific co-worker saying “Your BFF is pregnant, I thought you wanted kids too, why aren’t you pregnant?”.  I just starred at her as the tears filled my eyes. She looked at me horrified at what she had just said & she instantly gave me a hug. She apologized numerous times. She was not being malicious by any means. She seriously was just thinking I’d want to be pregnant with a good friend. I know people just don’t think about infertility so they don’t think when they ask those types of questions.

Once I really started discussing it with co-workers I found out several women in my office had gone thru infertility treatments to start their family as well. I learned so much from them. Who knew I would have a great support group in my office? It’s a place I come to everyday & if I didn’t open up about it I would have never known about some of the most amazing stories of success with infertility.

From then on I’ve been an open book about it. I’ll discuss it with anyone who will listen, you never know who you might inspire. I don’t mind being asked a million questions & I don’t get offended. I feel like the more I can share the more it can help others out there going thru the same situation. I’ve talked to the most random people about it, from the person sitting next to me on an airplane to a Grandmother at a department store who was asking for her own son & daughter who were struggling with infertility. This was just a reminder to myself that We are not alone. If you feel like you have no one to talk to, please reach out to me. I would love to hear from you. I will support you any way I can.